Why the Colts won't win the Superbowl...

I noticed an interesting trend over the past few months. In national competitions between teams from states that voted for different candidates, the team from the state that supported Kerry has always won. MLS Cup: D.C. (90% Kerry) beats K.C. (both MO and KS went for Bush). NCAA Football: USC (CA went 54% Kerry) demolished OU (OK was 66% Bush). World Series: Boston (MA was 62% Kerry) sweeps St. Louis (see MLS Cup, 54%). This last one is particularly annoying, because NY went 58% for Kerry, and the Yankees are (and will always be) the better team. Those are (as far as I can tell) the main sporting events of late, I'm sure there's been some lesser-known tournament to disprove the rule, but I can't think of it.

I believe this happens because God is trying to punish the working class saps who were so blinded by conservative demagoguery that despite their economic status they let their fear of gays, brown people, and Janet Jackson's nipple get the best of their vote. The weird case is the MLS Cup, because average American Joes don't care about it. This one happened either to reward DC voters, to be consistent, or to punish someone, probably me or Lamar Hunt. As far as the rest of it, believe me when I tell you that Oklahoma might have swung the other way if OU fans knew that a vote for Bush would equal a Sooner loss in the National Championship.

So who will win the Superbowl? It seems not the Colts, Rams, or Falcons...